THE FAÇADE

Welcome to the lounge! I’m glad to have you back! If this is your first time visiting the lounge, don’t forget to read and comment on the previous post. I look forward to your input. Our monthly conversation is one to anticipate. Do you ever feel like you are overwhelmed and just need to take a personal day? Are you frustrated with the demands of work and life and need help finding some balance?  Sis, you are in the right place. This read is for you! Now, I’m not a clinician, but I share my story to help those who find themselves in similar situations.  Today’s Pink Apple Talk conversation will cover dealing with demanding expectations, growing frustrations, and ways to find balance. Stop what you are doing and join us in the lounge to share your story.

I love being an educator. The impact I make every year is so gratifying.  My drive to be the best at what I do is so rewarding because I can see the growth, and it just means so much when your student finally has that ah-ha moment. That awakening is the best gift anyone can give, but the cost of those achievements is not cheap. Teachers are drowning, drowning in memos, emails, and data.  There’s so much data. I’m continually analyzing, interpreting, and planning how to support my students. Teachers make countless sacrifices because of the devotion to the students. Even if you’re not in education, doesyour workload seem to engulf you? What do you do?   It’s time I reveal what is behind the façade—submerged under the pressures of the job and fears of the pandemic. I found myself stressed and unable to meet my expectations of my family. I needed to make changes. I just knew something would have to give, but how are you available to those who need you.

4:30 PM, and it was time to do it again.  I wanted to give all  I could to my family, but I had little to offer. My work consumed me. It took everything I wanted to give to my family. I had not noticed until it stilled my joy.  I sat in the car, trying to pull myself together to find the energy to give to my family. Now don’t judge, but sometimes work takes priority over family. Am I proud of it? Heck no!  It made me feel terrible. It weighed heavily on my heart when I would leave work too exhausted to do anything with my child and family.  When I wasn’t tired, I found myself doing stuff for work instead of making time for priority.  I was so stressed and obsessed with being the best at my job I neglected those most important and lost so many other things.  Mom guilt hit me like a ton of bricks! Have you found yourself in a similar situation?  Do you believe mom guilt is a real thing?   Mom guilt had me feeling miserable and made me feel like a complete failure.

I continued to ask myself, “How is it that you can teach everyone else’s child to read but  not teach your own the essentials he needs for a solid foundation?” I boohooed.  I was so defeated.  So distraught because of the expectations I had set and couldn’t attain them.  I was failing and needed to pull it together quickly. I hated it and needed to do something. I needed to find some way to balance it. I finally took back control when I realized I don’t have to meetsociety’s unfair and unrealistic expectations.  I don’t have to be super, invincible, or virtually anywhere.

The balance came when I acknowledged I could say no to things that weren’t of real importance. Even though I want to be great at my job, I want to be the best for my family. I learned to prioritize what was truly significant to my life.  What do you do to stay balanced? What do you find yourself trying to balance?   

In the comments, share your thoughts. I look forward to contacting you next month for my next post. Meanwhile, let us stay connected and follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. I will be waiting for you here in the lounge.